What is resetting your life all about? We all reach that point where we want to review our life and take stock of where we are but are at a loss as to where to begin. As humans, I would hope that this life reset and renewal would occur often in our lives. Each time we seek to recalibrate, however, inevitably seems like the first time.
The only place to begin is where you are. You may not particularly like the stop you got off on, but it is the one where you are. Now is the only time that actually exists and here in this now is where you are.
Take an inventory of the life that you are living. What and who is supporting your wishes and hopes? What do you want to change or have be different? What narratives do you tell about yourself and others? What is the happy ending you yearn for and what makes is happy?
Honest reflection is an iterative process, and you may find today’s honest answer is not entirely honest. That is OK! Unpacking, reviewing and really thinking about where you are can be a daunting task. Be patient with yourself and know that along the way, your trickster ego may try to rewrite your genuine truth to compensate for perceived defects or deficiencies or to keep from having to face hard or hurtful perceived realities. Be gentle with this trickster too as he/her/they are just playing their part in the play. But remember, you can write this character out of the script!
Steps for Resetting Your Life
I have always felt comfort in having a few guiding principles and heart stars to guide me though these times of deep self-examination. If one or all of these resonates with you and helps you as you move forward, I will be happy. If none of these principles applies, you will have a least thought of a million reasons why I am wrong and why your method works better. Good- use that! I at least provided some grist for your mill!
Take your time but also make time
It is fine not to feel safe or comfortable examining every facet of your life all at once. It may not even be feasible. That said, try to dedicate a few hours every week to thinking about and parsing though where you are and where you want to be. Review your narrative story by story. The key is to give this priority and to ensure that you make time. Schedule a check in time with yourself a few times a week when you know you will be free of interruptions and at your highest functioning best. Come in slowly and consistently. Give yourself the time and space you need and make it non-negotiable time for you.
What’s the rush?
If you have worked in or been exposed to a corporate and metric- centric environment, please try to avoid the “let’s get it done” attitude. Speed is not the measure of what you are doing nor an indicator of how “successful” you are. First of all, what are we getting done? Secondly, if it is just form over substance, why bother. You have time. Respect your limits and know that what you are doing is the
hardest work ever. Approach this self-review from a patient, loving and calm posture. You are not being judged. More is not better. Faster is not better. Real and aligned are the gold standard here.
Take a break
Don’t be afraid to back off if it feels too hot or intense. Likely you have found something to dig into more deeply but modulate your response. Step back and let the intensity subside. You need to give yourself the distance and perspective in order to get to the next level.
Move one foot in front of the next
We have all heard that the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. The reason we have all heard this is because it is true! You will have good days, bad days, and spectacular days. Trust in your process. Take your time, make your time, face the journey and face it with affection, not fear.
Know that you might cry
When resetting your life, some issues and realizations are difficult. You may find that what you have been or done has been hurtful or less that what you had wished it to be. You just may miss people who you love and cherished and who are no longer here in this physical world. You may be ashamed that you missed the opportunity to be kind or gentle with someone. Crying is good. Cleansing tears and release are good.
Remember to laugh
I think laughter is the most human of emotions. We are everything but then again, we are not all that! See yourself for the vulnerable, silly, bird-brained person that you are. We are all that vulnerable, silly, bird-brained person. Honor that and enjoy the sometime ridiculousness inherent in being a human being.
Love is an action verb
Love isn’t a feeling or a thought. Love is an action verb. Whatever you feel you need to do to love yourself more, do it. Take action and figure out what your next loving move will be. Take action and love that person you wish to be. Think it, do it, be it.
Reach out to others
It is easy to pull away during times of deep reflection and analysis. Ironically, that is when you need to reach out more to others. We are all interconnected and contact with others keeps us whole and balanced.
It’s time to say goodbye to what was
You will need to release what no longer serves you or narratives which bind your truth. Letting go is hard and often even those things that may be holding you back give you a payback. Don’t be afraid of a void and release what is no longer in your best interests or in alignment with who you are.
Resetting your life isn’t a “one and done”. You will undertake this examination and reflection many times in your life. Sometimes the review will be deeper or different than it was before. Remember that this is a process.
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